Breakeven
by Mikadzuki no Kitsune
Summary: Inuyasha realized too late that heartbreak is never fair as he watches as Kagome moves on.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, any of the original characters from the story or the song ****_Breakeven_****; as they belong to Rumiko Takahashi and The Script respectively.**

_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even _

He had run off to Kikyou too often, leaving his young miko friend to grieve over his broken promises. She took up his time so often; calling for him with her shinidamachu, summoning him as though he were an ill-behaved pup who had wandered too far from her skirt. And Kagome… Kagome was tied down by her promise to stay by his side, by her heart, her love for him… and now they were both free. Kikyou had finally accepted her fate; her piece of soul returning to Kagome, who had in turn abandoned a love she saw as unrequited. But that wasn't true; he loved her, always loved her. Ever since he first mistook her for Kikyou, when her vanilla and cinnamon scent had wafted past his nose, his inner beast had claimed she would be his; his to protect, to cherish, to love. But he messed it all up by running back to the clay form of his ex-lover. So now she had all the time in the world to find love, and he only the freedom to watch on from the sidelines of her life.

_Her best days were some of my worst  
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first  
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping  
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no_

He was there the day the male had first asked for her courtship. She had granted it, and he watched hidden from the tree line as the youkai smiled softly down at her as her face bloom red in both pleasure and embarrassment as his heart shattered in his chest. He wasn't able to sleep a wink that night as he watched her sleep soundly in the lap of the one courting her, wrapped up snuggly in his tail. And he knew the male would never allow any harm to come to her.

_What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces_

He surveyed the area, his eyes immediately falling to the miko and her courter as they lounged against the God Tree. He still remembered the many fights they had, the way she had kept him sane over the years. He scanned the clearing again, his eyes once more landing on the young miko talking animatedly to her male. It had been several months since they had been together, and he could sense something big was on the horizon. Just as he turned to scan the surroundings for danger, Kagome leapt up from beside the male and tackled him to the ground, his oh-so-familiar silver hair covering both himself and the little miko as she gave off a giddy yelp. He had proposed a mating. And as her suitor nuzzled her with a deep chuckle at her behaviour, Inuyasha felt his heart clench as he swiftly left the area.

_They say bad things happen for a reason  
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding  
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving  
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even... no_

He watched as the love of his life watched down the aisle between the sets of chairs some of the village buys had carved. She was beautiful; dressed up in the multiple layers of her wedding kimono. Along the bottom of the outer kimono were many red and gold flowers sewn onto the soft fabric. Her hair was pinned up, allowing only a few stray strands to curl around to frame her face. She worn kohl around her eyes and had her lips lightly dyed with red, but her radiant smile and twinkling blue eyes were what made her truly gorgeous. The couple had agreed to marry in Edo before returning to her intended's territory to officially mate. And as he met the golden eyes of her intended, he knew she would be treasured always. But that didn't stop the pain.

_What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces  
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)  
I'm falling to pieces  
('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even)_

They were celebrating at their reception; wild flowers hung from the trees as many different meals were laid out in preparation for the feast that would soon follow. He smile sadly, remembering Kagome's attempts to teach him table manners, but that smile fell from his lips as he caught sight of the newlywed couple. They had changed, and she hung from his arm with a wild grin as her husband allowed the wild pride and love to shine from his golden eyes. They would leave soon, and he would lose his first friend, his love, and the best this that ever happened to him.

_Oh, you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain  
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.  
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, ooh  
'Cause you left me with no love and honour to my name_

He stared up into the dying light of the twilight horizon. She had just left; her and her husband had flown off into the sky on his youki cloud. And so he remembered. He remembered their first meeting, their first fight, their first kiss. He remembered how she would weep when he left to find Kikyou, when he first realised he truly loved her, the heartbreak he felt when he realised she had given up on him. He remembered how Sango and Miroku had oh so often told him what his leaving for Kikyou did to Kagome, but he had ignored them. He remembered Shippou biting his ear and insulting him for hurting his mother, how he had just thumped his head until Kagome 'sat' him. And now he was left without the one he loved because he had abandoned his honour to see the corpse of his ex-lover.

_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break...  
No, it don't break  
No, it don't break even, no_

Even the God Tree seemed empty without her. Inuyasha sighed as he scanned the clearing that housed the Bone Eater's Well; where everything had started, and where Kagome and her husband had left from. It was depressing that this was where he always ended up; the best view of where his life with Kagome had begun and ended. That he had often sat there once upon a time to wait for her to return from her home in the future, and that now he came back to wait for her to return from home in the present, was a cruel irony not lost to him.

_What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?  
(Oh glad you're okay now)  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
(Oh I'm falling, falling)  
I'm falling to pieces,  
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)  
I'm falling to pieces  
('Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even)_

He would wait, and he would always be her friend, even though he was still in love with her. He would love her silently from the background of her life. His eyes watered at the thought that once he had no time to tell her his love for her, and now he has all the time in the world to watch her bloom under the love and affections of his older half-brother.

_Oh, it don't break even no  
Oh, it don't break even no  
Oh, it don't break even no_

**_Author's_****_Note:_**I know I should be working on _House of the Shikon_, but I started listening to this song and this just kinda popped into my head, so I hoped it would help with my writer's block. Its just a quick thing I whipped up at 2am, but its my first songfic, so I thought I'd just chuck it up here on FF. Thanks again to everyone for their support, it means the world to me. :3


End file.
